Kamal and his followers – The ‘naked’ truth

Disclaimer – This blog is long due and I’ve taken utmost care to completely fill it with what I feel is the truth about people who fancy themselves ‘fans’ of Kamal and of course the legend himself. This comes after I accept that I am myself a huge admirer of his works. This is not intended to all the people involved in blood, eye banks that Kamal himself turned his fan-clubs into. Do not read this blog if you want to stay in wonderland.

I ve not saved the best for last…. what comes first will be the most delicious.

First things first, people who call themselves ‘kamal fans’ are most often those who once sat next to you in school and college. They too were normal kids like everyone else. If there was a tough concept that nobody understood – they too wouldn’t ve. If it was a tough sum that no one could crack – they too wouldn’t have. If there was this superb-complex chemical equation that no one got…..in all probability they wouldn’t ve got that too.

Now all of a sudden, they are special… they are ‘Kamal’ fans. I still don’t understand how they alone ‘understand’ Kamal movies that others don’t. Sometimes I feel like a victim of the short story ‘The Emperor’s new clothes’.

The fun part of Kamal fans is that they are all well aware of the good movies that are made outside India. Still they can’t help priding that even the best movies made aren’t a match for Kamal’s latest….. even if it’s something like ‘Manmadhan Ambu’.. *yawn* excuse me.

It is still a wonder how me and many of friends who are film buffs(and ppl who actually understood movies like 12 monkeys, Inception, Memento, The Matrix,….) aren’t able to understand the specialty of what we dared to call a pretty ordinary Kamal movie.

OK. Layman question time!! Is Kamal also not human? Is he a person who makes no mistakes? And the Layman answer?? – He himself wouldn’t probably accept that… but no not his fans. His so-called fans are probably the worst thing that happened to him. Period.

What many people still do not know is… most of Kamal’s movies are for a select audience. There is no necessity that everyone should like em. But tell this to ‘Kamal fans’, you ll get a lecture on how you have no taste… or brains. I don exactly remember. I forgot am sorry… I ain’t a Kamal fan right? Besides, come on guys, you don’t really expect people, at least learned ones, to take you seriously… do you?

If people do not like Kamal’s movies, let me spell this out for you. IT IS NOT THE MISTAKE OF A CINE-GOER, IT IS THE MISTAKE OF THE DIRECTOR/WRITER. If the movies are not made for the ordinary, foolish Indian(meaning people like me), and only for intellectually-superior Megaminds who can understand them(meaning idiotic Kamal fans) then don’t release them in theatres. Release them on DVD, and ask people to buy them. Let people like these guys who find something special in even a crap Kamal movie watch them.

Rhetorically, why does Kamal ghost-direct most of his movies? Well he s been doing that for more than 2 decades now and my question is why? I know all you brains out there are busy churning out super-human answers like ‘He reads minds and he knows that if he credits himself as director, people may stereo-type him.. you see he doesn’t want that’. Spare me the horror!!

If you are wondering about the significance of this question here, well it’s got no significance.. just wanted to add , that’s it…. peace. Doesn’t he do things like taking a dig at religion now and then? Just pretend you didn’t read this … like you pretended there were no religious undertones in Kamal movies. And just for the records, I am NOT talking about ‘Anbe Sivam’. It was a fantastic movie by Sundar.C BTW.

Personally I am really happy just to see Kamal on the screen… I get this gut feeling that he’ll be forced to retire from cinema in the coming years, due to health and age concerns. I regret that time does need to tick on. But there aren’t many people like me. If there are flaws in a Kamal movie, I’d be the first one to identify it. If there be an idiot, who claims that I didn’t ‘understand’ it, I ll do what I do best. But then if the movie was good, there’d be no need for that… would there?

Moral of the story (for all the fake-fans of the world hero) 1. If you think you’r brilliant and you want people to believe it, Kamal’s not gonna help you. Try getting into NASA, ISRO or something like Apple. 2. There are very good movie critics across the globe and they are far better movie lovers than any of you. Learn to accept that a movie can have Kamal and still be average……. or bad 3. If people feel Kamal’s comedies are getting repetitive, they probably are. 4. None of you are real movie experts. So if you are not a movie expert, don’t make a fool of yourself by claiming to be one.

If you have a chance to deny anything here, don’t miss it. Don’t deny me the pleasure of ripping you apart! If this was not enough, I’m always ready to throw you a bone. All you have to do is ask.

Kamal rocks, Kamal-followers SUCK!