The common faces on Facebook

The image maintainer aka Facebook hero

these guys well as might announce their heroism has no branches elsewhere apart from their main branch in FB. Being the sinfully hilarious comedians that they are in real life, these guys somehow take utmost care in portraying themselves as something subtle and close to wesley Snipes. You know… nothing big…. like they have all the things they need to bring down an empire(James Bond iisssshtyle) My doubt is for who? You aren’t gonna get a GF on FB!!! even if you do, she wont last more than a date with you(which invariably you have to pay for :-P)

Major identifiers : Macho posts on football clubs, continuous deletion of kalai comments from friends(of course they are dudes who always have the last laugh… at least on FB) sharing of englees songs Vonly, sepia-tinted/photo shopped profile pics,

The newly married

This mostly applies to girls. Why ma? are you the only one who is happy on the bloody face of the earth? they show themselves as if they expect everyone to find something to get envious about them. well guess what?? ppl who are long married have been there, done that, so no points from them. Singles are anyways satisfied with their lives. So *tongues out* mmmmm 😛 Trust me, the only ones who are really really happy are your parents who got rid of your sorry *beep*

Major identifiers : Marriage photo as profile pic, at least 25 recent albums( all pictures of things you have seen a zillion times), photos of them smiling, laughing, grinning, giggling with their spouse

P.S. everyone knows it was something you had to accept/had no say in 😀

The engaged

Mostly among the other categories, they suddenly become the chamathu payyans/ladies unlike before. Suddenly as if their Fiance’ is watching their every move, they get really really dormant and post only about topics like Anna Hazare and cricket. Get a life guys/girls your fiance’ is probably is a busy/successful person who has little time to get suspicious over you on FB.

Main identifiers : refrained comments, mostly limit themselves to likes alone, submit too lot of poetic/romantic songs(basically yawn-worthy for others)

The single male

Guys who are damn desparate to get a girl, they post pics of them wearing a sunglass, mostly in jeans and with a deadpan expression. WTF?? since when did giving a deadpan expression with Rs.300 sunglasses become cool? No part of their FB profile is hidden, everything is available to everyone including mobile numbers, locations, free times. Somehow they try to post nasty comments when a fellow single guy posts pictures with coolers. 🙂 hypocrites!! By some inexplicable phenomenon, they are always in the gyms, stadiums or team outings. hmmm…

Main identifiers : as mentioned, a pic with sunglases, usually self-photgraphed with the camera held in hand, commonly when nobody is watching

The single female

unlucky creatures who somehow ended up without an unsuspecting victim(read boy friend)…. try their best to showcase their life as something they chose by thorough willingness. they are really happy fooling around in shopping malls and parks, posing with their friends(similar species) and make funny faces together. Always have something negative to say about Valentines Day, couples and how nice it is to stay alone or only with girls… ooops. That was straight… not … 😛 oh well.. how else do you say it? I didn’t mean anything. Usually the kind that get promoted to ‘ engaged’ and ‘Married’

Main identifiers : Photos with tongues out, or photos of heroines, comments like ‘aaaawww’ ‘cho chweet’ ‘muuuaaaahhh’ ‘gorgeous’ on their friends’ profiles. (awwww is not even a real expression bitch!!!!)

P.S. : ‘Dottchu’ figure alert!!!!!

The mechanical/boys-only mandaiyans

The male counterpart of the single female. Guys who ended up without girls and are trying to hide their loneliness. Always found among the dark topics. Photos often taken with guys, on beaches or bikes. Always try to give an impression like ‘Minnale’ Madhavan. you know that female-hating sweet rascal, Come on guys!! Get a life. 😛 nobody is falling for that shit. Not 10 years after minnale released!!

Main identifiers : often caught clicking spam links, have a frightening similarity to the single male category in terms of profile activities and profile pics, only they try to show themselves even tougher and hard to crack, while the only difference would be that these idiots are just too proud to accept the fact that they feel lonely. Mostly keep posters of movie stars as profile pics

P.S. : sema ‘dottchu’ paya alert